3 days and counting...

Today is day 3 of me not smoking. Yep, after 13 years, I've decided to quit, well, try anyway. And so far, its been pure HELL.

Everyone was saying, "Oh you weren't a heavy smoker so it will be easy" or" If you really want to quit, you will" or my personal fav "I quit cold turkey, NO problem!" . Sweet I said, this will be easier than I thought. Its true that I never was a heavy smoker, I'd say an average of 3 smokes a day (not counting of course, the whole packs I would smoke when there was alcohol involved) tops! So how hard can it be right? Oh, how naive of me to actually BELIEVE THEM!!

My fucking head is pounding, I'm depressed, my person is ragy/neurotic/psycho and I'M hungry ALL the time. I honestly did not think it would be this hard, but it IS! Now I remember why I failed to quit twice years ago.

They say that there are 3 critical 'instances' that are the hardest to go through: 3 days, 3 weeks, and 3 months. Well, I'm at the 3 day mark and I want to die! Maybe its all in my head, maybe I am just using my quitting smoking as an excuse for my everyday bitchiness...who knows, and who cares really? I don't! I just want this to end!

I try and convince myself that this is a good thing by saying: Dal, with all the money you will save you will be able to buy more clothes! (*notice that I make no reference to my health). But even THAT doesn't make it any easier. I can see how people get addicted to drugs, alcohol, shoes, and whatever else. I mean, we know that we will die of it, but we still give in to our addiction. Pathetic really, that we let some shit kill us because we can't stop...

So to help me live through this hard time in my life I will list good reasons why I should quit:

1. I will save money (that I will just end up blowing on useless shit)
2. I won't need to look for a lighter (that is NEVER where you had left it last)
3. I won't develop the yellow fingers syndrome (that is just gross, thank GOD I never got it)
4. I won't have complete strangers asking you if you have an extra smoke (NO, why the fuck would I have an extra cigarette loser?)
5. My breath won't smell like death ( self explanatory)
6. I won't pay 10$ for 25 things that will slowly kill me(scary when you think about it - you are buying death...)
7. I won't have to look at the gross pictures that are on packs ( my fav is the blood clot one, nice!)
8. I won't be freezing my ass off in the winter
9. I won't look like a dried-up prune when inhaling death (did you ever look at yourself in the mirror when smoking? If you haven't already, you will now!)
10. I will have a lesser chance of dying of lung cancer.
11. I won't fell guilty everytime I light up coming out of the Goodlife (what are you looking at? At least I GO to the gym!)
12. I won't have to listen to my dad say "Ah, j'ai laché moi PAS de problème, c'est facile!" (spare me)
13. My lungs won't collapse when I take the stairs (well, I DO work on the 4th floor people!)

Well, I think that is plenty for now. Can you think of more?

So my pathetic self will be put to the test this weekend when I go up to the cottage. There will be food (not the healthy kind), people who smoke, AND...alcohol. Good times, as my friend Kerry would say. Can hardly wait. Wish me luck and I will surely post a sequel on Monday.

Double D - out